My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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