Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
