it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
