New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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