like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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