Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
