Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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