Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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