I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
