Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I fill condoms, not promises.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
