yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
How does one acquire holy water?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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