I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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