Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I just blew my weed a kiss
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
