no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
