my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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