ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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