Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
