i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize