Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Randomize