WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
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had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
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I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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