I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
