True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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