My Higher Power is John Stamos
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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