problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
