So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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