I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize