Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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