Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
