just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
