i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
