she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
