Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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