I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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