I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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