he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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