I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
