hell yes lets make some ravioli
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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