i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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