if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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