big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
