walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I fill condoms, not promises.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
