a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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