soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
