Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
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I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
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You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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