The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
