is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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