I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
