I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
