Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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