They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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