he puts the penis in happiness.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize