She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
