Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
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