my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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