OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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