Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
