JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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