Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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